I swear, the horn has got to be just as important to the Chinese driver as the steering wheel it's attached to. Drivers here will honk at ANYTHING. Buses honk at cars that wait for pedestrians. Cars honk at the bicycles cruising slowly down the middle of the highway. I saw an ambulance get honked at today. Maybe the horn is over-used because the traditional American one-fingered salute is unseen... or maybe that's just because it's too cold to roll down the window.
Today is Wednesday, which means a blog entry is in order to avoid having to start writing what will, yet again, be one of the worst things ever written in Chinese. For some reason, I remembered one of my favorite lines from Billy Madison this afternoon when I started thinking about what I wanted to write about - the part at the end where the teacher remarks that everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to Billy's speech. I really feel like the essays I write are an insult to the 4000 year history of the Chinese written language, and that NO ONE will derive any benefit whatsoever from battling through whatever horrible grammar and incorrectly written characters I can manage to cough up. Oh well.
Today was actually a pretty fun day. We went to the Capital Museum this afternoon, and got to look at lots of old relics. OK - that was not descriptive enough. They had a lot of Buddha statues, carved jade, ancient cooking pots, beautiful pottery... really a good collection! I only wish we had had more time to look at everything. Definitely a place worth returning to, though.
After we got back to school, I went out in search of a birthday cake, because tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY!!! I found a cake that I liked in a "European-style" bakery, but then was at a total loss when they asked me what kind of filling I wanted... I picked "tilamisu", as that is the only one where I could pretty easily figure out the English translation! After I ordered the cake, I headed next door to the grocery store to pick up napkins and paper plates. Believe it or not, I found everything I was looking for, and it only took one conversation along the following lines:
Me to store employee: "Do you have any plastic forks?" (after a quick trip to the dictionary to figure out the words for "plastic" and "fork" - Cake is not a food easily eaten with chopsticks...)
Employee: (predictably) "What?"
Me: "Plastic forks. My birthday is tomorrow. I want to eat a cake."
Employee: "Cakes are over there" (points)
Me: "No - I ordered a cake already. How do I eat it?"
Employee: "With a [unintelligible word]."
Me: "Right, but where do I buy that thing you just mentioned?"
Employee: "I don't know. Go ask the people selling the cakes."
I swear I am not making any of that up. However, she was right about the forks being in the cake section. I also bought some milk, as I always have cake with milk, though according to my roommate the Chinese don't drink milk with cake - they drink Coke.
I will leave you with one final thought, and then I really need to get started on this thing:
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I'm 29 tomorrow!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
